1. "On Sundays I like to make a good wheat berry salad with three kinds of kale. It holds up throughout the week. Kale is a sturdy boy."
  2. "The audition just didn't feel, like, HEALTHY, you know? Like, they made me wait for an hour and it just really messed with my energy. But hopefully I was able to USE that. Like, hopefully it made me look quirky and cute. But I didn't FEEL cute."
  3. "Oh my god, it's raining!!! Stay where you are, I'll come get you so you don't have to walk in the rain!!!"
    -my sister, when it was 62 degrees and barely misting outside and I had to walk three blocks
  4. "Put those back, Noah. They aren't organic."
    -mother to her 4 year old, who was grabbing oranges from the (completely segregated and aggressively over-labeled) "NOT ORGANIC" section of the farmer's market
  5. Patron: I'll have the spicy margarita. // Waiter: Would you like salt on that? // Patron: Is it a SMOKED salt or just, like, regular salt? // Waiter: Oh it's just regular salt. // Patron: Oh, then no.