VARIOUS WAYS I NEARLY DIED THIS WEEK

  1. Violent, uncontrollable sneezing while driving.
  2. Fogged up glasses, also while driving.
    From my fresh, hot, steamy coffee.
  3. Tripping over the dog (who was licking the floor) in the kitchen while transporting a pan of boiling hot potatoes to the sink.
  4. Squirting water from my water bottle directly into my windpipe while trying to drink.
    While choking and coughing up water, my dog decided he would help me by humping my arm.