Favorite Mitch Hedberg Jokes
- •I'm sick of following my dreams man. I'm just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.
- •When someone hands you a flyer they're saying here, you throw this away.
- •An escalator cannot break. It can only become stairs. You should never see an 'escalator out of order' sign, just 'escalator temporarily stairs.' 'Sorry for the convenience.'
- •My belt holds my pants up, but my belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who's the real hero?
- •Yknow those fishing shows on TV? They catch the fish and let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.
- •Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat 2000 of something.