Questions for My Parents

I'm living at home in Michigan for the summer while I hunt jobz back in Boston. Don't worry, I've got a good lead, I'm leaving August 14th.
  1. Why is there a bag of colorful feathers in the bar?
  2. Why is there no food here? Do you not eat?
  3. Why is everything so clean? I have made it a personal goal to mess things up around here and I just can't do it
  4. How can you stand so much Fox News on such a big TV? My senses are so assaulted.
  5. Why do you never sit on your patio?
  6. Are you aware of how much tindering and bumbling has been going on in your house?
  7. How often do these Amazon prime boxes of graham crackers come?
  8. When did we have all these family portraits taken?
  9. Is this printer older than me?