Things My Uber Driver Said Tonight
- •"So glad this is my last ride of the night. Super over this."
- •"Have you heard of ____ bar? It's so sick. They have mermaids there."
- •"...I heard they're hiring mermaids. That would be a pretty sweet job."
- •"Yeah, Tahoe sucks now. Fuck Tahoe."
- •"Did you hear about those riders that killed their Uber driver? I guess they were super wasted."
- •"...I'd never murder someone. That's just crazy."
- •"Chico's sick. I once saw a drunk girl fall out of a window, then get up and just keep walking."