ADDRESS TO A HAGGIS

By Robert Burns. To be read aloud over a steaming haggis.
  1. Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face
  2. Great chieftain o' the pudding-race!
  3. Aboon them a' yet tak your place
  4. Painch, tripe, or thairm:
  5. Weel are ye wordy o'a grace
  6. As lang's my arm.
  7. -
  8. The groaning trencher there ye fill
  9. Your hurdies like a distant hill
  10. Your pin was help to mend a mill
  11. In time o'need
  12. While thro' your pores the dews distil
  13. Like amber bead.
  14. -
  15. His knife see rustic Labour dight
  16. An' cut you up wi' ready sleight
  17. Trenching your gushing entrails bright
  18. Like ony ditch;
  19. And then, O what a glorious sight
  20. Warm-reekin', rich!
  21. -
  22. Then, horn for horn, they stretch an' strive:
  23. Deil tak the hindmost! on they drive
  24. Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
  25. Are bent like drums;
  26. Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive
  27. Bethankit! hums.
  28. -
  29. Is there that owre his French ragout
  30. Or olio that wad staw a sow
  31. Or fricassee wad make her spew
  32. Wi' perfect sconner
  33. Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view
  34. On sic a dinner?
  35. -
  36. Poor devil! see him owre his trash
  37. As feckles as wither'd rash
  38. His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash;
  39. His nieve a nit;
  40. Thro' blody flood or field to dash
  41. O how unfit!
  42. -
  43. But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed
  44. The trembling earth resounds his tread.
  45. Clap in his walie nieve a blade
  46. He'll mak it whissle;
  47. An' legs an' arms, an' hands will sned
  48. Like taps o' trissle.
  49. -
  50. Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care
  51. And dish them out their bill o' fare
  52. Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
  53. That jaups in luggies;
  54. But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer
  55. Gie her a haggis!