REASONS MY SISTER IS COOLER THAN I AM
- •She has a narwhal costume
- •She knows what a wug is
- •She added a silent 'Q' to the end of her name when she was 13
- •Her first present to my baby was this lobster costume
- •She's a newspaper reporterI imagine her office to be a slightly more modern version of the newsroom in His Girl Friday.
- •When she was little, she invented two languages for her imaginary friends called 'Pigsty' and 'Frog Eyeball'And she wouldn't teach me either of them
- •She knows how to catch squid and open clams
- •When she saw an offensive and grammatically incorrect bumper sticker on a car in a public parking lot, she taped a note over itIt read, "Learn to use an apostrophe, you dangerous asshole"