THINGS MY ONE-YEAR-OLD WILL ALMOST CERTAINLY DO TODAY

  1. Hide my toothbrush
  2. Stand at the top of the stairs and systematically throw his toys over the stair gate.
  3. Grab my ear and shout "ear!"
  4. Grab the ears of children at the playground and shout "ear!"
  5. Eat my porridge
  6. Shout at the doorstop
  7. Attempt to climb the radiator
  8. Stand in front of the washing machine and bounce
  9. Try to bite my leg and hope I don't notice
  10. Read through his Touch and Feel books until he gets to the page with a 'rough' texture, then lick it
  11. Get angry at the freezer
  12. Remove shoes from the shoe rack and replace them with parchment paper