THINGS THAT STILL CONFUSE ME ABOUT BRITAIN 🇬🇧🤔

Inspired by a comment by @gwcoffey on a list by @bookishclaire
  1. Your insistence that this is bacon
    This is not bacon. It is glorified ham. There is nothing more disappointing than ordering a BLT and finding this inside of it.
  2. The complexities of queuing
    I've stood in lines before, but you guys take it to a whole new level. I once got told off by a group of commuters for not queuing up in the right place for a train that HADN'T EVEN ARRIVED YET.
  3. Why 'reversing around a corner' is considered an essential skill for driving tests
    When is it ever safe or legal to do this in real life?
  4. How anybody was surprised that this guy turned out to be a paedophile
    It's a horrible story, but seriously? There were no pointers there?
  5. The rules of cricket
    My husband tries to teach me every year, but I start to lose track as soon as he starts talking about a wicket being both a physical entity and a theoretical concept.
  6. Why so many of you insist that 'Die Hard' is the best Christmas movie ever
    I mean, it's fine, but it's not what I want to accompany my mulled wine and mince pies on Christmas Eve.
  7. Which phone numbers are chargeable and which ones aren't
    Oh, so 0845 means it's expensive? But not from my mobile? Or only from my mobile? Or not at all? And what about 0800? Or 0300? Or 0870? This is why my phone bill is always so ridiculous.
  8. Why you always cut away from montages at awards ceremonies to show audience reactions
    I don't care if Bradley Cooper was impressed by the sequence about this year's comedies or Benedict Cumberbatch is sad that that producer in the 'In Memoriam' montage died - somebody put a lot of work into that and I'd quite like to see it myself.
  9. So much other stuff about the Baftas
    Why do you announce the winners BEFORE THEY'RE SHOWN ON TV? Do you not see how counterintuitive that is? Why don't you show footage of awards for editing or music or cinematography? Why is there no canopy over the red carpet even though it always rains?
  10. Why '20% off' apparently qualifies as a sale
    This is not a sale. No self-respecting daughter of a New Jerseyite would go out for a 20%-off sale. Come on. 50% at the very least.
  11. Warm beer
    I don't drink beer, but even I recognise that this is not right. Same goes for wine. Even more so, in fact. Chill your wine, people. How is it that California is generally at least 15 degrees warmer, but that wine there is 15 degrees cooler? It's not rocket science.