BEST TO WORST: FRUIT EDITION

  1. Banana
    One could argue the mediocrity of this global phenomenon, but I put forward this: where else can you satisfy a sugar craving with such a moderately high fructose fruit? Where? And for approx. 100 calories. The sheer versatility, malleable firmness/ structure and pre packaged casing of this elongated "berry" is a further hallmark of its biocentric genius!
  2. Strawberry
    Bite sized, family friendly, superbly designed. When in season, this is a serious contender for top spot
  3. Grapes
    Any colour as long as they're seedless. Tip of the day: peel off the skin to expose (and devour) the soft centered mush
  4. Peach
    Not white peaches. No sir. This ranking applies only to the standard, precisely ripe varieties.
  5. Apples
    Hey! Stable, steadfast, cross seasonal varieties. Can't go wrong.
  6. Mango
    Repugnant
  7. Blueberries
    Vile, offensive, teeth staining, grit filled bags of nonsense
  8. Honeydew/ cantaloupe
    Sour, bile flavored, poor imitations of their superior, right honorable cousin The Watermelon.