WHY I'M STILL AWAKE

  1. I've only seen this "Chopped" episode twice before.
  2. I got a notification from some app I never use just as I was drifting off 3 hours ago.
  3. I'm weighing the likelihood of various "Game of Thrones" fan theories.
    Tyrion Targaryen??? Did Lyanna love Rhaegar, or was he a kidnapping rapist?
  4. I have to pee but am too lazy to get up.
  5. My girl isn't spooning me properly.
    I can't articulate the proper spoon technique, and it changes minute to minute. I don't understand why she can't do it right.
  6. I'm reading all of @mindy's lists.
  7. I have a ton of work to do tomorrow and sleep is imperative to my success.
    Fuck you, brain.
  8. I'm researching the murder that took place in my apartment 30 years ago.
    True story. The neighbor did it.
  9. What was that? Probably a bed bug.