A bunch of jumbled thoughts as one year of life closes and another gets ready to begin.
  1. By the time I was twenty-seven, I thought I would be a writer; someone who wrote novels or about film or maybe even both.
  2. I thought I would be married or at least have a steady love who I could I build a future with.
  3. I thought I'd have a house with a dog in the yard and a swing in the tree in a place far, far, faaaaaaaaar away from the small town I grew up in.
  4. I thought I'd be thinner and someone who got up at 5AM every morning to run.
  5. I thought I'd throw dinners and parties and have an Instagram filled with cute pictures and adventures.
  6. I thought I'd have my life figured and my place in the world found.
  7. I thought....
  8. I thought....
  9. I thought....
  10. The reality, though, is that I have a novel stuffed in desk drawer and the only writing I do about movies is here.
  11. I have no love, much less a ring on my finger, and although I have a place to call home with a dog, it lacks a tree with a swing and a location far, far away.
  12. I'm thinner than I was but not where I'd like to be and the only time I see 5AM is when I've been up all night wondering why sleeping is so difficult for me. As for life and my place in the world, well, it seems like whenever I get a clear shot, someone comes along and changes the lens.
  13. And I won't like to you-- as I sit here, watching the last few minutes tick off of twenty-seven, it's easy to get tangled up in the I thought's and I don'ts.
  14. I mean will twenty-eight finally be the year that things begin clicking into place? Better yet- will they ever?
  15. I don't know.
  16. However, I do know this:
  17. I have a heart that shows the hairline fractures and clumps of glue from where it's been broken and mended, but somehow continues to love and hope and believe.
  18. I have a mom who teaches me patience and shows me every day what unconditional love looks like and a dad who lets me pick the movies and writes me cards like this:
  19. As for my brother, well, he's a jerk most of the time but always seems to pull it together whenever it counts the most.
  20. I also have a dog who seems to think I'm pretty gosh darn great and a grandmother who passed along her love of pinto beans and painting on walls to me.
  21. And friends? Well, I have ones who make me laugh and others who offer their shoulders when I need to have a good ole fashioned ugly cry. I also have ones who take time out of their lives to send birthday wishes across an entire ocean and others still who just check in to say hello and see that I'm alright.
  22. And although I still live in the same town where I learned to pray and cuss and drive a car, adventure somehow still seems to find me.
  23. So if I have a hope for twenty-eight, what would it be?
  24. Love?
  25. Confidence?
  26. My dream job?
  27. Happiness?
  28. Well... yeah.
  29. But mostly I hope that it turns out to be a year filled with more people, places, and memories that fill my heart. 💛