DEAR 2017 KAYLA

Although I've never really been a resolutions person, I do still have a few hopes for myself in the new year.
  1. Quit buying first class tickets on the Guilt Trip Express
    Life's hard enough already without you guilting yourself over every freakin' thing in the world.
  2. Quit apologizing for everything
    Once again, "I'm sorry" shouldn't be one of your automatic replies.
  3. Live your passion
  4. Find your happiness
    And if you can't find it, I hope you'll be bold enough to create it.
  5. Say yes to more adventures
    And say it loudly and without (many) hesitation(s).
  6. Take the time to let people know they matter to you
    Whether it's the mom who was always willing to read "just one more story", the English teacher who ripped your papers apart in order to help you become a better writer, the feminist icon who inspired you to embrace your own general badassery, or just the person serving you, make sure to let them know you appreciate them and what they've done for you. And then? Well, then pay that love/effort/inspiration/kindness forward.
  7. Stop choking on your feelings
  8. Get out of your head
    No, seriously. I mean we both know that it can be a vibrant, funny, spectacular place, but it's also a place that makes it easy to rip yourself apart. And lately— especially at night— you've struggled with that a bit. But instead of taking a dip in those choppy waters, you need to get out of there and go call a lifeguard or read a book or something.
  9. Be open to love, possibility, and the possibility of love
    Not gonna lie— you've kind of boarded up and closed off your heart this last year, which is completely understandable. Still, I'd love it if you could work on taking down a few of those walls and curtains.
  10. Reconnect with your creative side
    Call it up. Send it flowers and a box of chocolates. Invite it out for dinner and a movie. Do whatever you have to do in order to find that side- aka the best side- of yourself again. And while we're on the topic of your creative side...
  11. Finish the damn novel!
    I mean you could have the next great American novel just sitting in your desk drawer, collecting dust.... okay, probably not. But there is a small chance that it could be something sort of good. You'll never know though if you don't finish the edits and let eyes other than yours read it.
  12. Undergo a social media fast every once in while
    It might be hard, but I promise you those memes and gifs will be waiting on you when you get back. (It also wouldn't hurt to learn how to be engaged without becoming overwhelmed by all the things happening around you.)
  13. Cultivate the relationships that add to your life and let go of the ones that detract from it
    If the idea of having to go out/see them makes you want to slam your head against the wall until you fall unconscious, then it's probably time to cut ties. And by probably, I mean definitely.
  14. Take a chance. Make a move.
    Who knows? It might actually lead you to somewhere/something/someone wonderful and life changing.
  15. Get rid of what doesn't bring you joy or serve a purpose
    Declutter your life and your emotional closet, sweetheart.
  16. Understand that you nor your feelings are stupid/ridiculous
    You are/feel this way for a reason and if you dismiss it as stupidity and/or ridiculousness, so will everyone else around you.
  17. Love what/who you love
    And do it passionately and completely.
  18. Learn how to take a compliment
    Maybe then you won't be so awkward.(I'm kidding— you're always going to be awkward, but you should still learn how to do this.)
  19. Read more.
  20. Embrace your weird
    It's just a fact of life that some people aren't going to appreciate your vast knowledge of films and the way you nerd out over Star Wars, but if you stay true to who you are, then maybe, just maybe you'll be lucky enough to find people who will.
  21. Find a cure for your chronic case of people-pleaser disease
  22. Rock the boat every once in a while
  23. Indulge in the things that make you happy
    And learn to do it without guilt.
  24. Find inner peace/balance
    I was originally going to say quit worrying, but I know you well enough to know that's not going to happen. So instead, I just hope you'll find enough peace and balance in the world and within yourself to be able to handle whatever this year throws at you.
  25. You know that love, grace, and forgiveness you extend to others? Yeah, I hope you'll learn to extend it towards yourself this year.
    Repeat after me: You are worthy of love. You deserve respect, and you are not the f*cked up failure that your depression/anxiety tries to trick you into believing you are.
  26. Take care of yourself
    Drink more water. Get back into yoga and meditation. Find the right antidepressant(s). Sneak off to the movies/record store/book store on random weekday afternoons. Do whatever you need to do in order to be the best version of you that's possible.
  27. Figure out how to be the fierce, witty, creative, intelligent, takes-no-shit-from-no-one woman that your mom, grandmother, Carrie Fisher, Gloria Steinem, Nora Ephron, and Stevie Nicks have always inspired you to be.
  28. Become somebody that *you* can be proud of.
    Because in the end, it's your one wild and crazy life. 💛
  29. And as always...