THINGS I'VE OVERHEARD PEOPLE SAY...FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE

I'm always listening, Mike Wazoski, I'm always listening
  1. "So Satan's throwing his annual Halloween bash in hell and Steve Erwin shows up..."
  2. "Wait her water broke?.....I guess she'll have to have the baby in the bathtub.....it's okay if there's blood on the sheets we can change them.....good thing I don't have y'all on speaker phone. That would just be embarrassing."
    He was on the phone. This was in the middle of a group project. He did not leave.
  3. "This guy is loaded. He bought his kid a $12,000 tree house just because."
  4. "Wait, what party am I?"
    The girl was asking her friend this...as she was registering to vote.....
  5. "Wake up, Aaron. You're in a coma."
  6. "I wonder how many people are going to die running out into the street to pick up Pokemon balls."
    Um hopefully none...
  7. "Yeah, we got married last night. And had like 4 kids."
  8. "I hope y'all end up having to draw butts together."
  9. "I'm actually a reptilian overlord."