Portrayed by the 👑 of every office, @mindy Kaling. *insert "I'm the queen of this ish" gif from TMP*
  1. Oh my god, I love it *looks at camera and shakes head*
  2. Who am I? I'm Kelly Kapoor, the business bitch.
    It's important to brand yourself...
  3. I don't have any, asshole
    "What are your weaknesses?"
  4. I talk a lot, so I've learned to just tune myself out
  5. I can't control what I say to people. I spend the whole day talking
  6. This day is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S
  7. Who says exactly what they're thinking? What kind of game is that?
    Re: Darryl
  8. It's like my life is buffering!
    I use this daily.
  9. I'm dying!!
  10. I don't talk trash; I talk smack. They're totally different. Trash talk is all hypothetical like 'your mama's so fat she could eat the Internet.' But smack talk is happening right now, like 'you're ugly and I know it for a fact 'cause I got the evidence right there.'
  11. I am one of the few people who looks hot eating a cupcake
    Where is the lie
  12. I think sometimes people are really mean to the hot, popular girl
    I understand this struggle. (Jkjk)
  13. You guys, I'm like really smart now. You don't even know.
    This summer I did the minority executive training program at Yale...
  14. Fashion show, fashion show, fashion show at lunch!
    Suggested by @bjnovak
  15. Basically, nobody does anything for me anymore unless I threaten to kill myself.
    Suggested by @beccfoster
  16. Oh, my resolution was to get more attention
    Suggested by @mrush
  17. "Ryan used *me* as an object."
    Who vs whom
    Suggested by @ashlee
  18. "Yes Jim, but I am not easy to manage."
    Re: Jim asking if her department consists only of her after she expresses how much it has taught her.
    Suggested by @graceadilla
  19. "I have a lot of questions. Number one: how dare you?"
    Suggested by @sarahgorman
  20. So I received my first Valentine from a secret admirer -- Roses are red, violets are blue. It's time for your dental cleaning and maybe a checkup, too.
    Suggested by @caitlinjayne
  21. "I like ice cream! I need a boyfriend!"
    (In a Bridget Jones-esque voice)
    Suggested by @shinndigs
  22. Why is it okay for smokers to take breaks all the time? If I wanna go outside and hang out once an hour, then I’ll just take up smoking. I’ll do it. I don’t care.
    Suggested by @nelle
  23. If you are saying that Hilary Swank isn't hot, then you're saying I'm not hot, because obviously I'm not as hot as Hilary Swank!
    Suggested by @shinndigs
  24. I look really good in white
    "I thought you weren't suppose to wear white at a wedding" "I know but there was an emergency"
    Suggested by @Lisa_Fav
  25. Yes, Charles, you wanted me
    Suggested by @katemaryj
  26. "You look like J-Lo"
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    Not technically a Kelly quote, but Erin complimenting her Casual Friday outfit
    Suggested by @jyoti
  27. "It's so easy, Ryan. Do you really not know how Netflix works?"
    After a lengthy description of how Netflix works.
    Suggested by @mitchward93
  28. Darryl Philban is the most complicated man I have ever met. I mean, who says exactly what they're thinking? What kind of game is that?
    Suggested by @thekacie
  29. "I never really thought about death until Princess Diana died. That was the saddest funeral ever. That and my sister's."
    Suggested by @moonjockey
  30. I just bought some bikinis online. Size 2. Gonna look amazing.
    Kelly looking like hell on the Master Cleanse.
    Suggested by @Lynnie
  31. 🎶 Whatever we deny or embrace, for worse or for better, we belong, we belong together... Ryan...
    Suggested by @maryplautz
  32. Well you know what my middle name is? Rhajani Ghanda! And I hate it! I hate it!
    Suggested by @shelbyhockaday
  33. No.
    "Kelly, you are Hindu, so you believe in Buddha." "That's Buddhist." "Are you sure?"
    Suggested by @logan_____
  34. What about second base? Like if Michael said he got to second base with you, does that mean you like, closed a deal?
    Suggested by @Andrea__Marie
  35. Get out of my nook Dwight!
    Suggested by @poewar
  36. "What dance competition? I was just casually dancing with my friends, y'aaalllll."
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    Suggested by @dustinboone
  37. "I hate this worm inside of me!"
    Suggested by @justinak
  38. Damnit, Meredith, where are your panties?!
    Suggested by @mlh
  39. Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god... When @bjnovak moves into the nook
    "It's only temporary, ok? Don't get excited." I won't, I won't, I won't, I won't....
    Suggested by @aleepetrucelli
  40. "I mean, I'm not a slut, but who knows..."
    After telling Jim to tell Ryan that she's up for anything relationship-wise.
    Suggested by @adrilars
  41. "Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your boyfriend. Cause! Cause! Cause! Cause! Cause he sucks at ping pong!"
    Suggested by @Worthyb37
  42. "Oh my god, Jessica did you just fart?"
    When she tries to mean girl Andy's new girlfriend. It gets me every time.
    Suggested by @hollis
  43. You love ketchup...he loves ketchup.
    After Ryan says he doesn't want ketchup on his fries.
    Suggested by @dobbyisfreeeeee
  44. "It has almost no calories"
    "Are you eating popcorn?" during the Pam vs Michael fight
    Suggested by @amccabe