THINGS MY BEST FRIEND HATES
She despises a lot of things.
- •Soda, popcorn, pizza, and cakeShe was the bitch at birthday parties that got a salad.
- •Reality TVExcept The Biggest Loser.
- •When people eat cereal in front of herThis is fair.
- •BirdsNot great when you have a flu named after you.
- •The TV show FriendsThe longer this list gets the more I question our friendship.
- •Rye breadThe weird bread aunt that nobody likes. Except me.
- •Beyoncé songsBlasphemous, un-American peasant.
- •BurritosI'm not sure that she's a real person.
- •Shark WeekA week dedicated to giant carnivorous fish? What's not to love???
- •Legs sticking to lawn chairsAlso fair.
- •The name JohnThe most neutral name to exist.
- •Pitch PerfectI saw this movie 3 times in the first week it came out and so this one cuts me a little deeper.
- •Chocolate ice creamBye.