THINGS MY BEST FRIEND HATES

She despises a lot of things.
  1. Soda, popcorn, pizza, and cake
    She was the bitch at birthday parties that got a salad.
  2. Reality TV
    Except The Biggest Loser.
  3. When people eat cereal in front of her
    This is fair.
  4. Birds
    Not great when you have a flu named after you.
  5. The TV show Friends
    The longer this list gets the more I question our friendship.
  6. Rye bread
    The weird bread aunt that nobody likes. Except me.
  7. Beyoncé songs
    Blasphemous, un-American peasant.
  8. Burritos
    I'm not sure that she's a real person.
  9. Shark Week
    A week dedicated to giant carnivorous fish? What's not to love???
  10. Legs sticking to lawn chairs
    Also fair.
  11. The name John
    The most neutral name to exist.
  12. Pitch Perfect
    I saw this movie 3 times in the first week it came out and so this one cuts me a little deeper.
  13. Chocolate ice cream
    Bye.