1. "They're fine"
  2. "Okay I can feel that they're sticking straight up in the wind, but I'm walking! That's just what they're going to do!"
  3. "I know that fixing them is futile but I'm just gonna try"
  4. "Ok now I think I just made them part right in the middle which happens to be the most unflattering look on all humans who aren't Kardashians "
  5. "I'll just sneak a peek in this shop window, oh god okay I just made eye contact with a stranger while clearly trying to check myself out"
  6. "They're fine"
  7. "No wait they're parting in the middle/kill me"