REASONS WHY I SWIPED LEFT

  1. You quoted David Foster Wallace in your info section
    Why do we need quotes in biographies at all
  2. "I AM NOT A CATFISH"
  3. I am not wasting my time guessing which one you are in the group photo.
    I could've swiped at least 10 more people by the time I figured out which one you were.
  4. You blurred out other people's faces in your photo
    Or worse, covered them with emojis or literally put a black circle over their face
  5. We went to elementary school together
  6. You're giving the finger in your photo
  7. Gym selfies
    Is this MySpace?
  8. Your profile says you're 22 but you wrote in your info "not 22, I'm 18"
  9. I was swiping so many people left in a row, and it was fun so I stopped paying attention
  10. Your school info is a Zoolander joke