HOW TO SURF

In SoCal. Now I may be betraying my inner kook here because "real surfers" (not me, I've been doing it 5 yrs) think there are enough surfers as is, but it really is the best.
  1. 1. Get stoked, bruh
    The best thing about surfing is that you start unironically using words/phrases like "shredding," "gnarly," "glassed off," "smack the lip," strong offshores," "get shacked" and "solid swell."
  2. 2. Take a lesson
    Santa Monica beach south of the pier.
  3. 3. Watch YouTube tutorials
  4. 4. Watch Malibu Hamish videos
    Famous among SoCal surf brajs of my age, Malibu Hamish is a true character. I love his web series "No balls no nets." Heres a fav. http://bit.ly/1d0GmPl
  5. 5. Buy a foamtop board and wetsuit and car straps
    Buy a big 8 or 9ft foamtop (soft so when you fall you don't hurt self) and a 3/2mm (thickness) wetsuit which will be good year round in LA. Go to a ValSurf shop.
  6. 6. Find your break
    The best beginner break in LA is at Sunset Blvd and PCH. Go on Surfline.com to find breaks, read surf reports, research when it's good to surf and where, watch cams of other breaks.
  7. 7. Go "surfing"
    You'll mostly just paddle and flail. You need paddle strength to put yourself in the right place at the right time and that takes practice.
  8. 8. Do this roughly 8 more times before you finally catch your first wave
    But then you'll be like http://bit.ly/1DOll39
  9. 9. Don't get discouraged
    Even Kelly eats it. http://bit.ly/1DOlljo
  10. 10. Get over how creepy the ocean is
    Basically almost no unprovoked shark attacks in SoCal. Central and NorCal is where sharks bite surfers. Also dolphins surf. http://bit.ly/1DiE448
  11. 11. Watch bros fight and yell at each other in the water
    It happens and it's usually pretty funny. http://bit.ly/1G7RaC5
  12. 12. Don't be a kook
  13. 13. Ride the barrel, get pitted, so pitted.
  14. 14. Shoot the pier
  15. 15. Ride giants