PRE-WORKOUT TIPS

I'm no pro trainer but these work for me.
  1. Roughly 45 minutes before working out I have a few spoonfuls of ice cream, especially if I'm running. Dairy = increased cardio performance.
  2. Next. Lazily masturbate 20-30 minutes. Don't go all the way. That's for after.
    Remember this is the PRE-workout. Ha.
  3. Visualize yourself working out.
    Don't do that. What, you gonna imagine yourself on the elliptical? That's pointless. Go back to lazily masturbating you perv.
  4. Fuck stretching. Not important.