LIES I TELL MYSELF
It works! Try it yourself!
- •"I'm not going to drink during the week anymore."How mature and self aware of me! I'm obviously going to bail on this the minute a friend wants to catch up over happy hour drinks, but it was worth a try.
- •"You are over this guy."LOL NO I'M NOT! I'M LIKE, OBSESSED WITH HIM! But that's okay. Fake it till you make it.
- •"I'm going to do a social media 'blackout' this week and focus on more important things."8 hours later: "I'm pretty sure it's illegal to witness a sunset without Instagramming it, right?"
- •"OKCupid is a more legit dating app than Tinder."Real message received on OKCupid, grammar and all: "hi QT. feminisms good,,i like it."
- •"Kindles are just as good as hard copies of books."Sometimes when commuting to work, you need to use a Kindle out of convenience...but everybody knows hard copies of books are better. You can't fold down the pages on a Kindle. You can't lick the page when you turn it on a Kindle. You don't get to go to adorable bookstores with Kindle, just Amazon.com which is significantly less cool and you can't meet a cute boy on Amazon.com! Case closed.
- •"Your ex is having a terrible time without you."He's probably fine, but I tell this special lie to make myself feel better and to reinforce the fact that I am a bad ass who will one day make another person happy in the right way at the right time. HAHAhah or something like that.
- •"I'll go to the gym tomorrow."Nope. No I won't.