AWARDS SHOW GOWNS I'M WEARING

I don't live a lifestyle that requires fancy dress, but if something changes, I'll be prepared with these options.
  1. Either of these dresses would work for me. Especially if they magically transformed me into being as funny as either of these ladies.
  2. Simple dress in an amazing color and a gorgeous necklace. I could maybe pull this off in my actual regular life.
  3. Let's see how quickly I become insufferable with "up my sleeve" wisecracks.
  4. Maybe I wouldn't even have to wear spanx? Snake bracelet required.
  5. In order to look good in this dress, I'd probably have to give up everything I love: eating, drinking liquids other than water, doing anything other than working out. I'd be hangry and homeless (having been fired from my job due to spending all my time in the gym), but I'd be wearing a fabulous dress.
  6. In the real world, I'm too pale to wear all white. But the lure of a cape I could swirl around is strong.
  7. I'd hide my nervousness about wearing such a deep V by bragging about having pockets.
  8. I think I'd feel like a villainess in this dress, which makes me love it more.
  9. Rachel Bloom's dress was custom made, and the fit and color are impeccable. I wanna steal it straight out of her closet. (Except brief Internet research tells me she's 7 inches shorter than me, so I should probably get my own properly fitted replica.)
  10. This dress would be the realization of my dream of wearing a disco ball. (Be)Dazzling!
  11. I want to be Helen Mirren when I grow up: classy, sassy, and hot as hell.