OPPORTUNITIES TO FEEL LIKE A WINNER

Your mileage may vary. 💪🏻
  1. I will make my lunch the night before, instead of when I'm running late or already hangry.
    Spinach, cheddar, turkey, cherry tomatoes, hard boiled eggs, delicious salad dressing. (Actual big salad not shown.)
  2. At every opportunity, I will show my co-workers the gnarly new bruise on my middle finger.
    (Actual me not shown.)
  3. For second breakfast, I will thoughtfully consider having leftover ice cream from yesterday's office banana split party.
    (And it will be delicious.)
  4. I will be my own hype girl:
    I've somehow made it to the Sweet Sixteen of March ListAppness. That's right, your pal Katie B. will soon face off against an actual writer who is professionally funny. Your buddy Katie B., an amateur wisecracker, has never even received an acknowledgement of any kind from The Powers That Be. Your friend Katie B., who is a Delta—not a Gamma—due to a November ListApp start date. (And who will now stop with this third person nonsense.) But I'm goin' hard in the paint. #sportstalk
  5. I will give you a hint of what's ahead:
    (Photo by Charlie Hamilton James)