Requested by biz

THINGS THAT MAKE ME UNCOMFORTABLE

So many things, @biz. So many things.
  1. When I don't quite hear or maybe misunderstand what someone says, but I respond anyway. Then, the look on their face and the ensuing awkward pause confirming I should not have said anything.
  2. Sometimes I blush in totally normal conversation for no reason apparent to me and because I'm so fair, I assume my face looks like a tomato, which makes me actually feel like blushing and my face turns a shade of red never before seen on human skin.
  3. Small talk in the office break room.
  4. When someone offers to set me up with a fella who is definitely not right for me.
    I'm sure your contractor's divorce is "as good as final," but NO NO NOOOOO.
  5. Someone presses me for details about my weekend, apparently unsatisfied with my non-committal "good, how about yours?"
    Allow me to dispel your misconception that my life is full of constant adventure: I came home from my hair appointment on Saturday, changed into couch pajamas, caught up on Beowulf (television not book), and didn't interact with another human until I had to on Sunday. That's how my weekend was; stop asking.
  6. During a phone call with a potential suitor, I have decided we are not a match, but he's in the middle of what seems like it might be a very lengthy story about himself and I can't figure out how to end the call or tell him we're never going on a date and he starts quizzing me about the story he's telling.
    "And what do you think happened next?" Don't care, dude, do not care.
  7. That vague feeling that I've accidentally stolen every one of these things from other people's lists. 😳