TIMES I'M LIKELY TO CRY DURING THE OLYMPICS

Short answer: all. All the times. In particular. . .
  1. Watching the 10 athletes competing on the Refugee Olympic Team walk in the Opening Ceremony.
    Two Syrian swimmers, an Ethiopian marathoner, two Congolese judokas, and five South Sudanese middle-distance runners.
  2. Every time the US Women's Soccer team wins.
    Did you know the US Men's Soccer team didn't even qualify? And that the USWNT is currently involved in a wage gap dispute with those chucklefucks at the US Soccer Federation?
  3. Seeing first-time Olympian Simone Biles compete with the rest of the Fierce Five in gymnastics.
    The rest of the Fierce Five: Gabby Douglas, Laurie Hernandez, Madison Kocian, Aly Raisman
  4. During footage of prior Olympics.
    Like runner Derek Redmond who tore a hamstring during a race and fell to the ground. But then he got up and started hobbling towards the finish line and his Dad came out to help him get to the finish line.
  5. Seeing American Fencer Ibtihaj Muhammad compete wearing her hijab.
    She missed making the London team by one spot.
  6. Any medal ceremony.
    I imagine the pride of that moment: after all your work to get there, you've tried your hardest, and done your best, and YOU WON.
  7. Watching Michael Phelps swim, and seeing his mom cheer him on.
    The joy of the most decorated Olympian of all time and his biggest fan as he swims his last laps might be too much for me.