NEW PLAGIARISM POLICY

Given the actions of the leaders of one of this country's two major political parties, I feel required to revise how I handle cases of plagiarism by my students. While they will still receive a 0 for the assignment, and the incident may be reported to the dean, they will be excused from these penalties if they satisfy any of these conditions.
  1. No more than 7% of the paper was plagiarized.
    Because, I gather from Gov. Christie, this is the amount we're allowed to steal. I will keep that in mind next time I visit New Jersey.
  2. The student is rich and/or famous.
  3. The student is related to someone running for political office.
  4. The student persists in denying that he or she committed plagiarism, despite how obvious it may be.
    In the past, the student who admitted to the plagiarism when confronted about it would receive a lighter penalty. The model now set by our leaders prescribes a different policy: simply denying the charge makes it false (applies to other forms of dishonesty, as well as such things as climate change).