1. The first to go if the purge hit Nashville (Alt title: Tyra Banks and other folks we could do without)
  2. The people I suspect would try to kill me when the purge hits Nashville
  3. People and phrases I frequently confuse (i.e. revile and revere, Randy Jackson and Al Roker)
  4. Times and ways I've evaded the U.S. legal system (citizens arrest notwithstanding)
  5. Redeeming qualities I hope to one day possess: beginning with human compassion and working my way up to a boob job
  6. My nearest-death experiences (Teaser: lawn mower incident didn't even make the cut)
  7. People who are worse than terrorists (Able-bodied obese people who grocery shop in handicapped carts- end of list)
  8. Times and ways I've been called ugly (Part 1 of a series)
  9. Incidents you didn't know happened on the set of Home Alone 1&2 (Spoiler: they went through 4 Marvs)
  10. My least favorite communicable diseases