SNAKES I MET AS A PEACE CORPS VOLUNTEER, RANKED

The setting: mud hut, Mali
  1. Egyptian cobra
    This one came under my door while I was reading some NYT clips my dad had sent me. Thanks dad! I crawled into my mosquito net and screamed til my neighbors beat it to death with a piece of rebar.
  2. Black mamba
    This one came in through the roof while I was sleeping naked, midday, with a fever. Ran outside wrapped in sheet til I found my neighbor who beat it to death with the very same piece of rebar.
  3. Green mamba
    This one I encountered on a bush path, riding my bike. It crossed the path, then I lost it in the grass, because it was rainy season and IT WAS THE VERY SAME COLOR AS THE GRASS NO THANK YOU
  4. Long brown one people like to eat
    Found this one in my compost pile. It's apparently delish.