SKILLS I HAVE THAT DON'T BELONG ON A RÉSUMÉ

Inspired by @KristyTolley
  1. 1.
    I can lick my elbow.
    This is supposed to be impossible but I can do it and it looks pretty weird and gross. EDIT: this was hard to get a picture of, but I tried.
  2. 2.
    Clowning
    Took a class in college. No one ever wants to see me clown unless they took that class with me. Which I really should have expected.
  3. 3.
    I have great rapport with dogs.
    Dogs come up to me on the street all the time and their owners always apologize and pull them away and I'm like "no wait, but your dog and I were hanging out."
  4. 4.
    That's it.
    I'm out of skills.
  5. 5.
    Hire me!!!!!