JANUARY 2008/CANCERVERSARY THOUGHTS

(Or that time I almost died @ListPrompts)
  1. 8 years ago I was diagnosed with cancer and I did not believe my life would change dramatically
  2. That January I drank a lot and my boyfriend held my hand and was the quietest I'd ever known him to be.
  3. That January I made so many jokes about cancer--I could not stop laughing-- I threw up from all the laughing
  4. When I woke up after surgery, I touched my neck and tried to speak.
  5. I was so afraid to lose my voice.
  6. In March everyone went away for spring break and I stayed in my apartment in the city and shuffled over to Mount Sinai for radioactive iodine prep.
  7. And a man with a thick Russian accent told me many things I do not remember.
  8. I remember thinking: who decides to specialize in nuclear medicine?
  9. I remember being glad someone did.
  10. My cousin, an older sister to me, gave birth a few days after I met the Nuclear Russian.
  11. She had a uterine inversion and nearly died.
  12. Sometimes my cousin and I talk about January 2008 as if it is our Siberia, a cold gray, dark place I do not wish to travel to again.
  13. I would erase every stamp on my passport if it meant Siberia never happened.
  14. Eight years ago I was 21 and I didn't know a damn thing.
  15. I don't know what's next.