OH GOD HALF MY AGE IS 15

(Inspired by @nathanveshecco) I turned 30 last week. More on this later.
  1. Little old 15 year old Kelly Bergin
    Having my first drink at a bar in NYC, purchased with a fake ID my cousin "found."
  2. I'm sort of worried I haven't changed at all!
    I'm still goofy and funny and dumb.
  3. Anyway. 15 year old Kelly. I'm a year out from being diagnosed with lupus, so I'm in the thick of my first flare.
    Spending a lot less time in the hospital than I do now, though.
  4. I'm a freshman at Red Bank Catholic HS in Red Bank, NJ.
    My shirt is constantly untucked and so I spend a lot of time in detention.
  5. I'm in mostly honors classes and I take nothing seriously, but I scrape by with Bs.
    Mediocrity FTW.
  6. My boyfriend is Steve and he is on the hockey team and he wears a weird, blinge-y necklace that he "gives" me on Valentine's Day
    Do you guys think he forgot Valentine's Day and thought this was the equivalent of wearing his letterman jacket?
  7. My best friends decide to steal this necklace I'm supposed to be wearing and hide it under my gym clothes in the locker I could never open.
    Therein begins a 6 week freak out over "losing" this weird mall necklace I'm supposed to be wearing.
  8. I'm still best friends with these assholes today.
  9. Fifteen was pretty melodramatic and I was really worried I was bisexual or gay and everyone could tell.
    Spoiler alert I was right but I did a great job of covering with Steve and giant weird necklaces.
  10. Once, I snuck away from my friends at the mall and I went into a Borders book store (hi, 2001). I found a book about teen sexuality in the parenting section and looked up the question: how to tell if you're gay.
    I believe the book said something like: "If you have to ask this question, you probably are." I believe my reaction was pure panic. THANKS BOOK.
  11. I'd tell my 15yo self to pay more attention in school and don't drink so many Mike's Hard Lemonades because the vomit is not worth it.
    Neither is the drunk face, seen here.
  12. I would also tell my little self that sexuality isn't that big of a deal, and denying it for so long will give you an ulcer.
    I was in a private Catholic HS and there were NO visible gay kids or allies, so I'm not sure I would've ever came out. Pre-Glee and pre-Rosie coming out, I couldn't see a way it would ever be okay.
  13. (I cannot BELIEVE I am still friends with these assholes today.)
  14. Everyone who deserves your love and acceptance will love and accept you, too.
    I wish I'd known this.
  15. I was a sick kid and I'm a sicker adult but goddamn if I'm not lucky as hell, too.