Terrible Mother's Day Gifts From Your Infirm and Incorrigible Daughter

I'm literally the worst.
  1. Showering for the day
  2. Cleaning my apartment
  3. Promising not to write a book about her
  4. Taking my insulin
  5. Pretend not to be gay for the day
  6. Not wear my Hillary shirt to brunch
  7. Wear pants with buttons and zippers
  8. Try not to roll your eyes
  9. Salad.