THINGS I DO AT THE HOSPITAL

Eighth crazy night
  1. I start off looking cute and possibly showered. Things will soon change drastically.
  2. Night two confirms that in my bloodstream lies bacteria.
  3. I'm hooked up to a 24/7 heart monitor to prove I do actually have one. It's cold and dark, but it's mine.
  4. I channel Springsteen for my parody album: Born To Run (Toward The White Light)
  5. I walk around the floors at night, listening to people hack and cough their way to early death.
  6. Somewhere between days 5 and 8, I find out I am sicker than previously believed.
  7. I decide to update my funeral playlist. I now only have ONE Hanson song on there!
  8. I finish reading the most exquisite book about death possible.
  9. I decide to start giving the nurses shit for giving me the wrong meds.
    No more Mrs. Nice Pussy!
  10. I promise to stop eating carbs and experiencing joy if I just get let out of here once.
  11. Bring it, day 9!