Bad people on the subway this morning

This morning it was very, very crowded on the 6 train before work, and all the horrible people of New York decided to celebrate on the subway.
  1. Guy next to me with the big coffee
    OK, he didn’t spill on me. But what if he did? In slurping his giant coffee mid transit, he threatens the dryness and cleanliness of all other passengers. One slight nudge, at no fault of his own, and he is at fault for sentencing neighboring passengers (me!) to a day of sticky, wet misery.
  2. Lady who wouldn't sit
    People are dislodging limbs in order to fit on this train, but this lady wouldn’t sit in the spacious seat directly in front of her. Please, for the love of all that is holy, have a seat.
  3. Lady who sat up too soon
    What sin is greater than refusing to sit? Leaving a seat too soon. The train is still moving and standing passengers are grasping on to poles, doors, and blind faith to stay upright. I understand your urgency to escape, but your premature exit strategy causes everyone else to move aside, losing their grip and balance while the train is still speedily galloping along. Take a deep breath, and wait 'til the train stops before you shove the surrounding bodies from your path, like the rest of us do.
  4. Line cutter
    Traveling downtown to 28th st, one must file through a set of two revolving doors to exit the station, a treacherous feat during rush hour. Each morning, a line forms for each door (isn't it beautiful to see humanity embracing justice and order as the hordes of bodies subconsciously form into two lines?) Except for that guy, who walks right down the middle and cuts in front to pass through a door. “Screw you, line peasants”, he says, spitting in the faces of those who wait. He is the worst.