Things that went wrong on my date last night

  1. The chicken I ordered was raw
    But only sociopaths send back food on a first date so down the hatch it went
  2. My date said I'd look better with contacts
  3. I got all bloated
    Probably from all the raw chicken
  4. I had to formally request that we please stop talking about his schlong
  5. My date touched the wart on my knee