Ways to respond to "what's up?"

The most dreaded question. Usually asked in passing. If you're like me, you're always frantic for a response, which is why I ranked all possible responses from worst to best
  1. Telling them what you're actually doing / how you're actually feeling
    Your blathering on will be met with pure disgust
  2. Nothing much, you?
    Ultimate way to chat up your crush on AIM, but we're adults now, you can do better than that
  3. Stare down at feet/phone
    *You heard nothing*
  4. You alright?
    Common in the UK, but a curveball if used in the States. Only use to incite fear and confusion in your enemies.
  5. What's up?
    Damn, how cool are you that you can answer a question with the same exact question? Ballerrrrr