THAT'S NOT EVEN A WORD AND YOU'RE USING THAT ONE WRONG

I have a coworker that misuses words and completely makes up others. Some days it makes me annoyed others I am completely amused and left in fits of laughter.
  1. Chloroform
    Yes this is a real word but not correct when you say "the insects are sucking all the chloroform out of the leaves and that's causing the discolor in the leaves". The image of all these tiny bugs passing out from chloroform producing plant leaves just makes me feel sorry for the bugs. These rapist/kidnapping plants need to be stopped. Haha! I and other people have corrected him that the correct word is Chlorophyll but he continues to say the wrong thing.
  2. SimUlar
    This one drives me nuts! I actually have heard more than one person say this incorrectly. It's spelled similar and pronounced sim-eh-ler. Where this U comes from I just don't understand.
  3. Caulk
    When you see a note from a coworker that says "we need to buy a new cocking gun" well let's just say there are so many jokes to be made from that one little incorrect word usage.
  4. Absorbatory and Eggsorbatory
    Two coworkers went on a delivery to a very nice home that had an Observatory. Both were very excited to tell us all how amazing the home was but neither could pronounce or knew the correct word. My favorite of their two made up words was absorbatory. My mind imagines a factory where things like tampons, sponges and paper towels are tested and observed for their absorption. It's so stupid but it makes me die laughing. An Eggsorbatory is funny as well but seriously an absorbatory? Haha!