1. People put back an unfilled Brita
    Why are you the way that you are?
  2. I hold the door open for someone and they don't say thank
    What, do you think I'm simply doing this for my health?
  3. My DVR recorded episode cuts out before next week's preview
    Purgatory is for the sociopaths.
  4. I can't train my hair to go more than 24 hours without becoming an oil gold mine.
    Thanks Obama.
  5. My friend sends me 46 pictures of her dog
    If it can't recite the lyrics to No Scrubs than I have no place for it in my life.
  6. Somebody can't tell me exactly where they were when they found out Michael Jackson died
    First of all, how dare you.