THINGS I ASSUME ABOUT CELEBRITIES
- •Stephen Colbert has family game night every Sunday.Stephen and his wife look longingly at each other as their children playfully insult one another during a heated game of Scrabble. He thinks to write it into one of his shows as a bit, but decides these moments are better tasted off-camera.
- •Barack and Michelle compete with one another using their Fitbits.Barack always wins, but Michelle looks better doing it.
- •Gwyneth Paltrow's water must be a certain temperature before she drinks it or feeds it to her dog."Tap water is for poor people"
- •@mindy remedies a hangover by wearing sunglasses (inside) the whole next day.She also watches reruns of The Office, while she and @bjnovak text back and fourth adoringly teasing one another about their old haircuts.
- •Bill Murray watches Full House.He always acts disgruntled and peeved when one of his kids suggests it, but secretly loves it because Stephanie Tanner is plucky and self-aware.
- •Quentin Tarantino loves to fold laundry.One minute he's all "Kill Bill" and the next he is adoringly shaking his head that his wife still thinks gray goes with the whites!
- •Justin Bieber cries during sex.