UNFORTUNATES OF THE LAST 48 HOURS

  1. Both my Chapstick and eyeliner are in the same shaped/size container and I unknowingly covered by lips in black eyeliner.
    I walked into my classroom and all 26 of my juniors shrieked and cowered in fear.
  2. One of my students turned in a six-page essay on why Donald Trump should be president.
    "Of course I won't let my personal opinions impact your grade" ..............
  3. My coworker gave me red jellybeans but to my dismay discovered they were cinnamon instead of cherry.
  4. Walked out of Dunkin Donuts only to spill my entire coffee on the floor of my car.
  5. Watched the driver of the car in front of me flip an elderly woman off while she was crossing the street.
    I then promptly acted as an elderly vigilante and tailgated the car for three miles while honking and shouted obscenities only I could hear