Things You Need To Stop Doing on the Train

  1. For obvious reasons, it is extremely uncomfortable when you are stuck sitting next to someone who hasn't seen the inside of a shower in days.
    I once sat behind a woman who reeked of vinegar. I don't think this has to do with not bathing, but it fits the category. On another note, I also sat next to a man once that smelled so strong of soap it was hard to breath. You can't win.
  2. Similarly, stop painting your nails on the train. Honestly, you can't be getting that good of a paint job with all the rocking anyway.
  3. Removing your shoes and kicking up your feet. Nope. Nope. Nope.
  4. Bringing McDonalds onto the train. You may think it smells good - you're eating it - but the rest of us are all suffocating on your French fried air.
  5. Gum smacking.
    Let's be honest. This is annoying no matter where you are. It's just amplified on the generally quite train.
  6. Playing your Celine Dion so loud we can hear her beating her chest...through your earbuds.
    Turn it down before you're deaf. Turn it down. I SAID, "TURN IT DOWN!" Never mind...
  7. Not having a ticket and then yelling at the conductor when he charges you the extra convenience fee for buying it on the train. Come on. You do this everyday, you know the rules. He doesn't have time to listen to you, he has hundreds of other passengers to get to and my ears already hurt from all the Celine Dion.
  8. Getting huffy when I politely ask if I can have the seat your bag is residing on.
  9. Lastly, and this is the one that really gets under my skin, at the end of the ride DON'T get out of your seat on the upper level, crawl over everyone, then stand next to me (or anyone) sitting in my seat. There's not enough space. Now, I can't get my coat on nor get up to grab my things and prepare to leave.
    Look, we all have somewhere to be. You're not King-of-the-Train - you're life is no more important than the rest of us. Stay in your seat or in front of it and wait your turn. No one can go anywhere yet, the doors aren't open. Accept your location and chill.