1. Functioning door buzzer
    That makes noise when rung as well as unlocking the front door from five floors up
  2. Built-in shelves
    Like a whole wall of them, to hold books and meticulously restored vintage electronics and family heirlooms such as pottery
  3. Thriving house plants
  4. A legitimate mop
  5. Washer/dryer OR dishwasher
    OK to pick one