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  1. They don't make any noise at all!
    Except at 6 AM when they want food so they shake the bars of their gate until you wake up and feed them.
  2. They don't have any bad odor!
    Unless you forget to clean their litter pan every day.
  3. They never bite!
    Unless your finger gets in the way of a treat, or you stop petting them.
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Watch one of these while you're folding laundry, writing thank you notes, or going through the mail you've let pile up for a month.
  1. All 5 Twilight Saga movies.
    I will forever stand by these movies as guilty pleasures that are nice to have on in the background. Pretty scenery, pretty music, pretty people. I think I watched New Moon every day for a year.
  2. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
    It's not hard to figure out what's going on in this movie. If you glance up from what you're doing or walk into the room for a second, you're bound to see something funny.
  3. Aladdin
    This movie rocks. You could put it on every Saturday and never get tired of it. But it's so good that it might just make you abandon your chores, so consider yourself warned.
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I've read a LOT of books to kids, and there are some that I will keep going back to forever.
  1. Sideways Stories from Wayside School by Louis Sachar
    The comedic genius of this man is such that it takes multiple readings to get every joke. I'll never get over this book.
  2. Wayside School is Falling Down by Louis Sachar
    The sequel to Sideways Stories, this book is even funnier than the first one. There were times I had to stop reading because the kids and I were laughing so hysterically.
  3. Wayside School Gets a Little Stranger
    The third and final book about Wayside School. Still hilarious, still amazing.
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(Because why else would I care about you?)
  1. Oregon Ducks
    Let's get it out of the way: everyone knows you look amazing.
  2. Seattle Seahawks
    If you're wearing neon, I automatically love you.
  3. Cleveland Browns
    The orange/brown/white combo is just so deliciously 1970s.
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