THE BACHELOR PT 1

Thoughts I had watching the bachelor for the very first time
  1. 1.
    How did they find all of these hot people?
  2. 2.
    Wait, he's only 26? Why is he so desperate to get married?
  3. 3.
    Ben totally only said that stupid "unlovable" line so he could be the bachelor
  4. 4.
    This girl broke up with her boyfriend when she saw Ben on tv?? Is she going to murder him?
  5. 5.
    Girl you were in the military why have you moved down to the bachelor?!
  6. 6.
    "Not your average girl" is code for secretly boring, Mandy, you're fooling no one
  7. 7.
    "We're quirky" says the twin wearing Kendra Scotts
  8. 8.
    I get that these women watched the bachelorette but how do they know so much about Ben? Are they naive?
  9. 9.
    It probably took that girl way too long to come up with her "chicken or the Ben" joke
  10. 10.
    Oh good here we go, everyone's gonna have a sad backstory
  11. 11.
    I mean ALS is tragic and I feel for her but still
  12. 12.
    I wonder how many episodes it's gonna take me to learn everyone's names
  13. 13.
    I wonder how many episodes it's gonna take BEN to learn everyone's names
  14. 14.
    How long do the girls have to sit in the limo before they make their entrance? I bet their legs hurt
  15. 15.
    There's gotta be a Reddit feed on how this works behind the scenes, right?
  16. 16.
    I already forgot about flight a attendant girl
  17. 17.
    Kayla pulling out all the stops with that jump
  18. 18.
    Oh there's no way I can comment on each girl individually
  19. 19.
    Bringing up Kaitlyn immediately? Bold.
  20. 20.
    Did I spell Kaitlyn right?
  21. 21.
    This girl does not speak coherently enough to be a lawyer…
  22. 22.
    I would wear the hell out of her dress tho
  23. 23.
    Maybe I shouldn't judge her for that but whatever
  24. 24.
    I had time to think all of that because jubilee won't stop talking
  25. 25.
    DAMN LACE STR8 UP WHERES THE CONSENT DAMN
  26. 26.
    would I let my child watch their teacher on the bachelor?
  27. 27.
    And let my child discover their teacher makes a horrible first impression?
  28. 28.
    Shushanna had different music than everyone which makes me feel like she's gonna be important
  29. 29.
    Oh my god Ben is so nice like he does not know what's happening
  30. 30.
    Wait, she does speak English right?
  31. 31.
    Did they introduce all of these girls or am I going insane?
  32. 32.
    Wow these girls really wanna make an impression don't they
  33. 33.
    Id probably just be like HEY MUTHA FUCKA
  34. 34.
    But unicorn head is one way to go
  35. 35.
    Despite her accent, the bouquet is the cutest of the weird introductions we've seen
  36. 36.
    Wait is everyone named Lauren or Laura? I feel like there's been at least 4…
  37. 37.
    One of them was named Leah maybe though?
  38. 38.
    Why would you wear a rose on your head when your body is that killer?
  39. 39.
    Oh so he can pollinate it, of course .
  40. 40.
    I'm already seeing none of these women are going to become friends over the course of the series
  41. 41.
    This is a lot more sexist than I expected
  42. 42.
    So far the only feminism I have seen is that woman whose in the military
  43. 43.
    Whose name I already forgot
  44. 44.
    So I guess I'm part of the problem
  45. 45.
    Oh red head girl said no one was ugly! That's something!
  46. 46.
    I hope he never figures out how to tell the twins apart. I'm sure he'll be really nice about it
  47. 47.
    Why is everyone intimidated by the twins, this isn't a porno…
  48. 48.
    What happened to the pony after she went inside?
  49. 49.
    There's no way they let it live in the house
  50. 50.
    Ugh finally people in their 30's
  51. 51.
    DAMN 30 year old you had to be gluten free???
  52. 52.
    They're totally gonna edit this to make lace the bitch
  53. 53.
    A fucking hoverboard, how 2015 of her
  54. 54.
    Yup, they're making Lace the bitch
  55. 55.
    That only makes me like her
  56. 56.
    Even though she kissed Ben without consent
  57. 57.
    Jessica got special music too, so obviously he's gonna love her
  58. 58.
    I hope this girl asks Ben to click or something
  59. 59.
    He is a small town boy though so maybe they'll have farm love
  60. 60.
    How long does this last anyway?
  61. 61.
    Is it enough time to decide you wanna marry someone?
  62. 62.
    Ben pretending that save the date didn't creep him out, nice.
  63. 63.
    HOW MANY GIRLS ARE THERE
  64. 64.
    26?! Jesus Christ. Plus the 2 that we know will surprise everyone from the previews
  65. 65.
    Aka those 2 ladies I'm gonna have to google
  66. 66.
    I'm pretty sure they were those girls that were almost Kaitlyn though
  67. 67.
    Is Ben gonna be able to tell whose just using him for his fame?
  68. 68.
    Oh they're really gonna play him up as a family man
  69. 69.
    I can picture the production meeting now
  70. 70.
    "Shot of a farm! Him on the phone with his parents! They're gonna love it!"
  71. 71.
    Why the fuck is the horse still there?
  72. 72.
    Rose head girl and Twins already on my damn nerves
  73. 73.
    Oh Ben looks so uncomfortable
  74. 74.
    Why did he consent to an oral exam?
  75. 75.
    I would for sure be way too bitchy to do something like that
  76. 76.
    DOES THIS GIRL KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO BECOME A NEWS ANCHOR WHY DID SHE GIVE THAT UP
  77. 77.
    wait, are the twins planning on both winning? They know that's not how this works right?
  78. 78.
    Well I'm pretty sure, don't quote me. Seems like in right though
  79. 79.
    Oh god Ben is so nice I feel like someone's gonna break his heart
  80. 80.
    I mean if they do I'm gonna assume it's for ratings and everything but still
  81. 81.
    Okay I was totally right about who those girls were
  82. 82.
    Oh god why are they playing up on this girls virginity??
  83. 83.
    I can't watch this after this week.
  84. 84.
    I mean I totally will but I'm gonna feel shitty about it
  85. 85.
    Just like I did with the kardashians
  86. 86.
    Which I now watch every week
  87. 87.
    So I guess this show is just part of my life now
  88. 88.
    Because I'm actual trash
  89. 89.
    I'm all for jubilee talking about I Afghanistan
  90. 90.
    SHES DONE SOME SHIT
  91. 91.
    I'm not for lace interrupting
  92. 92.
    I want to love lace because they want her to be the enemy but at the same time she's kind of too much to handle
  93. 93.
    Wait lace I'm pretty sure Ben said he did not want to kiss
  94. 94.
    Home girl does not understand consent
  95. 95.
    WHY HASNT ANYONE TAKEN THE HORSE AWAY
  96. 96.
    Like is it happy in the house??
  97. 97.
    Has it pooped on the floor yet?
  98. 98.
    Or on one of these insane dresses?
  99. 99.
    Wow this is quite a show.