BEST STEPS FOR EASING YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER INTO YOUR HOLIDAY MANIA

  1. 1.
    When moving your stuff in, ask them to carry the box of Christmas decorations so they can feel the true weight of your joy.
    Store additional boxes out of sight so as not to scare them.
  2. 2.
    Play Christmas music on headphones maybe loud of enough to hear but quiet enough for them to think maybe it's just pop music.
    Albums by Kelly Clarkson, Celine Dion, and Mariah will make this easier. "Oh, just listening to Mariah....'s Christmas album on repeat all day for the next two months."
  3. 3.
    Put your Peppermint Mocha Starbucks cup in the trash and laugh when they say they can't believe holiday cups have been unleashed.
    Throw the rest of the cups in public trash cans.
  4. 4.
    Slowly add more green and red to your wardrobe so they become more comfortable with the colors.
    If possible, incorporate into their wardrobe too.
  5. 5.
    Ask where they keep extension cords so you can "vacuum your truck"
    Do not mention you are checking length for outdoor Christmas lights. Do not mention you are hanging them.
  6. 6.
    Over time, remove personal items from mantle to make room for decorations.
    Add them one by one so by Thanksgiving, it is fully decorated.
  7. 7.
    Ask if their family has any fun holiday traditions.
    Do not show them the stocking your mother knitted with their name on it that is already full of wrapped stocking stuffers.
  8. 8.
    Make regular cookies.
    IN CHRISTMAS SHAPES. Fill them literally with the spirit.
  9. 9.
    On the day after Thanksgiving, put up your final mantle piece, hang the stocking, plug in the lights, frost the cookies, wear your Christmas sweater, and offer them a peppermint mocha with "All I Want for Christmas is You" playing in the background and welcome them to their new fate.
    Holiday joy bows to no enemy.