ACTUAL THINGS I HAVE SAID TO MY ROOMMATE

  1. "I GET TO TO TAKE MY FIRST SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET TO TAKE YOUR SECOND SHOWER"
  2. "You can die of dehydration while I live off the Brita filter"
  3. "How do you have the energy to make your bed every day???"
  4. "I think I am destined to marry Justin Bieber"
    sidenote: I have said this to multiple people, none of which are extremely enthused about our upcoming nuptials.
  5. "Are you just going to keep stuffing the trash until I take it out or...?"
    i am the unofficial trash-taker-outer.
  6. "We needed more toilet paper yesterday."
  7. "Is it okay to eat cereal out of a red solo cup?"
  8. "How much easy mac is too much?"
  9. "But what if the easy mac is minion-shaped?"