Imaginary Celebrity Cameos I Need in My Life

Let's revamp all these shows and get some celebs in to boost ratings.
  1. Ellen on Arrested Development
    Lindsay has been hitting on Kitty's new lawyer (Ellen) to which Michael says, "Don't you think it's a little unethical to have an affair, I'm starting to worry about Tobias." Lindsay rolls her eyes, "Please Michael, what a double standard! Only the husband can have a gay affair? It's the twentieth century!" Michael responds, "You know what—nah, it'd take too long." Ellen later reveals she's already married with kids and will Lindsay please stop calling her?! Ellen's wife is getting suspicious.
  2. Leo Dicaprio on Peaky Blinders
    Tommy hopes a new baby in the family will get the "Shelby good looks" and Aunt Pol responds? "O'course he will, those eyes go all the way back to your great Grandfather Joseph." Flashback of Leo kicking ass.
  3. Tina Fey on Parks and Rec
    Ann and Chris are getting married, Chris pity invites Jam to their wedding much to Leslie's dismay. Jam brings his girlfriend Angelica (from Eagleton), who spends the night hitting on Ben and insulting Pawnee. A furious Leslie feels she has to save the wedding from that heathen woman and soon discovers that Angelica (or Jelly as Jam calls her) is Jam's sister. Being the bigger person she keeps the secret, Angelica thanks her by not "getting up in her Jelly." "Ew." Says April.
  4. Tom Cruise on The Office
    Michael is thrilled to announce his brother Matthew (Tom Cruise) is coming in for the week, his brother has always been a little bit of "the sack sack of the family." (Jim to camera mouthing "sad sack?") Matthew is cool/rich but Pam is convinced he must be very sad and lonely—Matthew plays into this to help Michael's ego. It turns out he is a world champion hacky sack ("Ive been the sack sack three years in a row, nbd") and married to a young blonde, Kelly is distraught to learn he's married.
  5. Will Arnett on Modern Family
    Phil's older brother Brad comes into town and immediately wins the affection of everyone, most importantly Jay. Jay is building a treehouse for Lily and enlists Brad's help, Phil invites himself along but is dubbed the "little helper" (by Brad) and is stuck holding things and helping Mitchell fetch the lemonade. At the end, Brad leaves and Phil is surprised when Jay exhales "Finally, talk about a tool. We tried our hardest to be nice because he's your brother, but hell am I'm glad he's gone."
  6. Salma Hayek with Will Arnett on Modern Family
    Brad comes back with his new girlfriend, Jackie, who the whole family is infatuated with. "This makes up for your brother being such an ass" says Jay. Gloria is naturally jealous and competes with Jackie about everything from their ages to whose village was poorest when growing up. "Well we had to use rattlesnakes tails as baby shakers!" Says Gloria to which Claire, "Oh you were shaken as babies, it's all making sense." Brad high fives Jay for his choice in women, Jay questions his choices.
  7. Kevin Hart and Jimmy Fallon on 30 Rock
    Jack is retiring and wants to put Michael in charge. Jenna believes Michael is interviewing for a page position and when he hits on her she is disgusted that someone so unfamous do so. Jack reveals the truth and she begins to hit Michael, who (in revenge for her shallowness) sends her on the impossible task of obtaining a lock of Fallon's hair for his late night host collection. Jimmy gets a restraining order, Michael is fired for rudeness to Jenna ("Only TGS family can make fun of Jenna.")
  8. Julianne Moore on The Real O'Neals
    Eileen's sister Irene is a heavy partier who the kids immediately love. Flashback reveals Pat had gone to their house back in the day to ask Irene to prom but had gotten their names confused (their dad had said "Sure! Nobody's asked her yet!" Much to Pat's confusion, as Irene was v popular.) Kenny idolizes Irene's blasé lifestyle, only to later realize she's a drunk with no family or real friends. He apologizes to his mom for siding with Irene's cruel jibes about her conventional life.