My Best/worst Break Up Story

I'm the worst TBH
  1. I once dated this guy who chewed really fucking loud
    Which drove me FUCKING CRAZY
  2. But I liked him so we made a joke of how much it drove me nuts
    We had other issues that were much more problematic on the big picture scale so like this was our cute annoying joke whatever
  3. Honestly if I made a joke he would quiet up so I didn't mind it TOO much
    I know I'm sensitive and probably a bitch for pointing it out in the first place so it's fine
  4. One time I was napping at his place and he woke me up by eating an apple right by my ear
    Like full on his mouth was open and I got apple juice on me he was like an inch away from my motherfucking ear
  5. I woke up and was like "what the hell you know I hate how loud you chew"
    Like come the fuck on
  6. And he was like "nah you'd never break up with me it's fine"
  7. Then we went about our day like normal
  8. Three days later I broke up with him for "unrelated reasons"
    Because he wasn't supportive, etc. AND BECAUSE HE PISSED ME OFF
  9. And he was like "Good thing you didn't break up with me on Wednesday, I would have thought it was because of my chewing."
  10. Hahahaha-oops, sorry not sorry.