Scenarios which have proven that I AM Bridget Jones

I love you Bridget. Will support this third film no matter how horrible it is.
  1. 1.
    On family vacation my sweet father helpfully picked up my blanket for me (to move it to my bed) and on the backside an unclean THONG was stuck to the material.
    "Must put last night panties in the laundry.."
  2. 2.
    Once, after dating a man for four months, I was standing in his kitchen making dinner and his WIFE came through the door. I assumed she was his sister and she assumed I was his piano student. We had an entire dinner together before I awkwardly had to tell her that her husband was a dirty cheater. Not great.
    "Must not form attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, commitment phobics, people with girlfriends or wives, misogynists, megalomanics, chauvists, emotional fuckwits or freeloaders, perverts."
  3. 3.
    In middle school I had to attend a Halloween party and went in a floor length Marie Antoinette gown with a huge gash painted onto my neck, vampire teeth, and grey makeup all over my body to give me a nice ~deathly~ look. Not quite a bunny suit at a Sunday BBQ but still pretty humiliating.
    Needless to say, my fellow middle schoolers were dressed as sexy pirates, sexy Angels, sexy disney characters, and sexy zombies.
  4. 4.
    Have mouth of a fucking sailor.
  5. 5.
    Perpetually deemed a Singleton
  6. 6.
    Regular wearer of the panties often acclaimed by grannies
    Couldn't find the right gif but you know the ones I mean
  7. 7.
    Constantly weighing oneself (even though am told this is a TERRIBLE idea and should only do it once a week, tops)
    "Resolution number 1: obviously will lose 20 pounds"
  8. 8.
    Am atrocious at karaoke. Pretty sure have scarred people with my karaoke.
  9. 9.
    I, too, find Colin Firth to be ridiculously attractive
    Have you read the book where she has to interview Firth for work? Sidesplittingly funny.
  10. 10.
    Also keep absolutely ridiculous diary full of complete rubbish.
  11. 11.
    There are many many more reasons that I am terribly ashamed to admit.
    Please read the books if you'd like a peak into my diary.
  12. 12.
    Now where's my Mark Darcy?