HOW TO CUT YOUR FINGER WHILE SLICING BREAD

  1. Get the bread and a knife and maybe a cutting board if it's clean.
  2. Think to yourself how you've never cut yourself while slicing bread!
  3. Feel encouraged.
  4. Verbally mention how you've never cut yourself while slicing bread!
  5. Fish around for encouragement from the poor soul who you're subjecting this conversation to.
  6. Feel really very encouraged
  7. Ignore that the bread is stale.
  8. Get overzealous.
  9. Cut your finger!
  10. Use the last bandaid to patch yourself up.
  11. Consult Google to make sure you're ok.
  12. Weep!